Mommy Detour

This just came to me in a rush of understanding. It is either a stroke of genius or my own version of the Jerry Maguire “mission statement.”

Here is my theory:

We Mommy Entrepreneurs are like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. We go to the Wizard (Donny Deutsch and the like) thinking they have answers that we cannot provide for ourselves. If you recall, the movie goes like this:

Oz: Come FORWARD!

Oz: I am Oz — the Great and Powerful. Who are you? Who are you?!

Dorothy: If you please, I am Dorothy — the small and meek. We’ve come to ask –

Oz: Silence!

Oz: The Great and Powerful Oz knows why you have come. Step forward, Tin Man.

Oz: You dare to come to me for a heart, do you? You clinking, clanking, clattering collection of caliginous junk!

Tin Man: Oooohhh. Uh, yes, yes sir. Yyyes, your Honor. You see, awhile back we were walking down the yellow brick road and –

Oz: QUIET!!!

Oz: And you, Scarecrow, have the effrontery to ask for a brain! You billowing bale of bovine fodder!!

Scarecrow: Thanks, your Honor — I mean, your Excellency — I mean, your Wizardry.

Oz: Enough! And you, Lion. Well?!!

[The Cowardly Lion faints]

Dorothy: You oughtta be ashamed of yourself, frightening him like that when he came to you for help!

Oz: Silence, Whippersnapper. The beneficent Oz has every intention of granting your requests.

Oz: But first you must prove yourselves worthy by performing a very small task. Bring me the broomstick of the Witch of the West.

The Scarecrow: Bbbbbbbbut…if we do that, we’ll have to kill her to get it.

Oz: Bring me her broomstick and I’ll grant your requests. Now, go.

The Cowardly Lion: But what if she kills us first?

Oz: I said GO!!!

So off they go to attempt a task none feels equal to. And together, doing what each does best and with a bit of luck, they succeed in killing the Wicked Witch. When they return with the Witch’s broomstick, they discover that the Great and Powerful Oz is no wizard at all. He is nothing more than a man from Kansas himself.

After pointing out each of Dorothy’s companion’s traits, he presents him a token representing the quality he sought. For the Scarecrow who wanted a brain–a diploma. For the Tin Man whose maker failed to give him a heart, a heart-shaped pocket watch that ticks like a beating heart. And for the Cowardly Lion, a medal of valor. The three discover they suddenly possess the essential qualities each object represents!

When he gets to Dorothy, he rummages through his empty bag and Dorothy sadly says: “Oh, I don’t think there’s anything in that black bag for me.”

This is where so many mommy entrepreneurs get stuck! The PR is the bag! The ad is the bag! The trade show is the bag! We keep waiting for the Wizard to pull something out of the bag for us! The one magical thing that will take us where we want to go, bring our business to life, erase our fears of failure (or success). We are all waiting to be handed that trinket, that token that “gives” us what we feel we lack.

Back to our story:

The Wizard says he will take Dorothy back to Kansas himself in a great helium balloon….but while the wizard is making speeches, the balloon departs without Dorothy.

Brokenhearted, Dorothy begins to abandon her dream of ever returning to Kansas and attempts to reconcile herself to life in Oz with her new friends. It is then that Glinda the Good Witch of the North appears….

DOROTHY: Oh, will you help me? Can you help me?

GLINDA: You don’t need to be helped any longer. You’ve always had the power to go back to Kansas.

DOROTHY: I have?

SCARECROW: Then why didn’t you tell her before?

GLINDA: Because she wouldn’t have believed me. She had to learn it for herself.

Dorothy returns to Kansas by clicking her heels, encased in the ruby slippers, together and repeating her mantra.

What are the lessons here?

What do the ruby slippers represent?

Is Glinda actually a separate person? Or is she your subconscious mind?

If she is real, is she a mentor? Or a loved one who knows you best?

Who is the Glinda in your life?

What do you possess–what have you ALWAYS possessed–that will take you where we want to go?

I can see clearly now that it is not the Wizard I need, it is Glinda. The Wizard’s bag is a comforting thought to cling to when nothing goes my way. But I hear Dorothy’s truth when I say “There is nothing in that bag for me.” I already possess that which I seek. I just gotta go dig through my mental closet to find my ruby slippers!

I have been struggling for the past year to be all things to all people as far as my business is concerned. I want to produce the highest quality, most beautiful blankets at a price most moms can afford. I also want to see my blankets in specialty retail stores and online at the likes of Target. And I want to do this while employing legal US citizens in my community who earn a fair wage.

Over the last year, we have tried to participate in the wholesale market. I must say, the results were borderline abysmal. Our products are handmade in the USA, one blanket at a time by professional seamstresses and my fabrics are very high quality goods. Producing Secure2Me products is expensive! Selling my blankets wholesale felt like giving them away and I never saw an appreciable increase in traffic or sales from buyers in surrounding areas. Showroom fees, rep commissions and show specials ate up every bit of our gross profit. It was a win-lose and we were the big losers.

We were at a crossroads a few months ago, requesting samples from overseas manufacturers and looking at ways to make our products here for less. I got a sample from a well-respected contact at the trade mart and it was a hot mess. Poor quality fabric, hideous construction and inferior workmanship. I emailed photos to the broker and he said he was “embarrassed” by the sample. He was supposed to address the issues with the factory but I have never heard from him since. Another factory produced a sample that was technically right, yet looked so wrong. It felt like someone put scary clown make-up on my baby and took pictures of him for our Christmas cards. Seriously, it was that bad.

I know I am not “supposed” to have strong feelings about my product. It is not a person, I get that. But it is my creation. It is my art. I want every blanket out there to be as close to perfect as possible because that is what I want to have for my baby. I would have no peace wondering what blanket #2,193 of 5,000 was like on the inside if I ordered my product by the container from China. I love being able to see the blankets myself from start to finish, anytime I want to pop in at the shop.

I know some wonderful products are made overseas and I am not at all implying that overseas production equals inferior quality. I am saying I lost interest in pursuing offshore manufacturing. Maybe it is my intuition, maybe it is my Detroit DNA, maybe I just need a better broker. I dunno. For a multitude of reasons, we have decided to manufacture here in Texas.

So much would change if we went overseas. Assuming we found the perfect factory overseas and every single blanket they produced was immaculate, I would have to limit my offerings severely because of the huge minimums required to place an order. I love designing different styles and providing the consumer with lots of choices. I absolutely could not offer more than five styles if we outsourced manufacturing. And what if I guessed wrong on one of those styles?

(It has happened before. Remember ‘Cordial’? I loved it! Moms told me it looked like something out of a whorehouse) Thank goodness I don’t have 5,000 of those to sell

Therefor, I have decided to enjoy my company and my life. I will fall in love again with fabrics. I will create unique clip-on Secure2Me Blankets in beautiful styles that moms and babies will love. I will sell my blankets online and at shows and markets. Should Target come knocking, perhaps I will design some proprietary styles just for them and enjoy seeing my invention on their website.  But the “maybes” and “what-ifs” will no longer dictate my happiness.

I started this business because I loved the product I created. I am determined to enjoy the life that goes along with it!

Tags: baby product, china, entrepreneur, made in usa, Secure2Me Baby Blanket, Target, Texas

Chronologically, I am 36 years old. Technologically, I feel 75. Why can’t I grasp all these social networking sites? I just don’t understand the purpose or how to participate. Little I do in a day seems interesting enough to Tweet about. The few things that might be tweet-worthy are too proprietary to share. I love reading other people’s posts but feel tongue-tied when trying to post “enough-but-not-too-much.” I get Facebook mixed up with MySpace and couldn’t tell you right now which one of the sites I am a member of. It may be both. Or maybe I am thinking of LinkedIn. I just get so confused by all of it.

This must be how my Grandma felt about the VCR. She always called it the “movie machine” and though she liked watching movies, she never really got the hang of operating it by herself. My Grandma also favored old-fashioned, G-rated films and we had difficulty finding movies that weren’t offensive to her delicate 81-year old sensibilities. She would hold up a box at Blockbuster and ask, “Is this a picture I can see?’ like she was underage and the clerk was surely going to ask for some ID.

I downloaded StumbleUpon a few months ago and liked stumbling for a few days, until I got my criterion narrowed to the degree that I was shown the same 10 sites interspersed with random weird site sites every third click. Not knowing how to change my preferences, I gave up and went back to Googling. Now, I find out today you can intentionally go to a site in StumbleUpon and rate it. Doesn’t this defeat the point of stumbling? I am probably really wrong and you are shaking your head and rolling your eyes right now. Fine. I don’t care. I have hit some kind of mental age block and have become the old dog incapable of learning these new tricks.

I don’t feel my horizons are significantly limited by my techno-ignorance. Sure, I wish I knew how to press the pound key on my BlackBerry but thus far, I have gotten by yelling “Agent!” three times after the prompt to enter my account number followed by the pound sign. But I do worry about my future. At this rate, I will be unable to make a phone call, email a friend or shop online in a few short years. I’ll be standing in Best Buy yelling “Agent!” into the remote control of some new-fangled flat panel HDTV I call the “picture box” by the time I am 40.

It is difficult to know how our new baby (and the pregnancy itself) will impact Secure2Me. We talked a lot about the impact of the new baby on the business and vice versa before deciding to seek a new family member so its not like this just dawned on me today. But I confess, the reality is starting to sink in a bit. I keep saying to myself, “We are going to have four children 8 and under and run our business like a “regular” company.” Its my little mantra. Only it sounds like a big, fat lie to my ears.

I have been reading about methods for growing a business while growing a family and the suggestions just don’t appeal to me. I’m not about to post a schedule in our kitchen! Organization freaks and schedules have never appealed to me. For me, the fastest route to stress and misery is a self-imposed schedule to remind me that I am late or behind or just plain doing it wrong. Our lives, the children’s lives and the business all have an organic flow. And I like it this way. This is not to say we let important things slide. I always know what is top priority, do what needs to be done and move forward from there. This method works for us and we get our work done and enjoy our day.

But what happens when the new baby arrives? Everyone knows newborns come first, 24 hours a day. How will I cope with caring for my newborn, ensure the boys feel loved and valued and grow a business? My head spins thinking about it now.

I tell myself it is like the many other challenges in life. It is at first overwhelming, then tolerable, then suddenly, one day, you realize you have mastered the new challenge. And would not want life any other way. I trust this will be the case. Just in case, I am working on an alternate mantra.

Indeed, we are expecting a new baby in March and we are very excited. I never figured myself for a “4-kid-momma” but that is certainly the way we feel led. We enjoy our boys so much! I jokingly say “my house is a wreck and my body is ruined, why not have one more!” but that is not really how I feel. Life with three is not hectic or chaotic. Our homeschooling lifestyle removes a lot of the stress and strain. Life is really very pleasant and pretty peaceful most of the time. Our boys are gentle and play together very well the majority of the time.

The PC thing to say is “we just love kids and want another one” but that is not entirely how I feel either. I want a girl. I want a daughter. That is my truth and one of the deepest desires of my heart. It is not because I do not love boys or feel grateful for the wonderful sons we have. I love my sons and cherish being a boy momma. The world is short on good men and if my job in this life is to raise good men, I embrace and relish that role.

That does not change the fact that I am a woman who would like to also have a daughter. I’m not a girly-girl, shopaholic, mani-pedi, lunch with the ladies kind of woman. It is not about having a companion for shoe sales or spa dates. I want a daughter because the core relationships in my life have been with women–my mother, my grandmother and my sister.

I was raised by one of the fabled super single mothers of the 80’s. It was the four of us-my mom, my gram, my sister and me. We were inseparable, a team. And I love the relationships we have now. (My precious Grandma passed away a few years ago at 87 and I miss her terribly every day)

I want a daughter to share my world. I want to see myself through her eyes. I want to teach her about the wonderful parts of womanhood. I want someone to love the way I was loved. There is so much about being the mother of a girl that I hope to experience. Not the prom or the wedding stuff, but the meaningful daily experiences.

Perhaps it is a tiny glimpse of my mortality, but I don’t want the uniquely female experiences I have had to die with me. I don’t think my boys will be very interested in hearing about my childbirth experiences. Or my breastfeeding stories. I want a daughter to pass on my feminine wisdom to.

What if we have a boy? Will I be disappointed? I don’t know if “disappointed” is the right word. How could I ever be disappointed in a healthy, wanted baby? My boys are my delight and there are wonderful gifts in raising boys. We are definitely not planning on having any more children so this baby would be our last baby. Note I do not say “our last chance.” I do not look at this baby as a “chance” for a girl. This baby is a person and I love and welcome this person, regardless of gender.

But I still want a girl. I don’t know how to square all of this in my mind. I do not know how to balance my desire as a mom of three boys for a girl with the open heart of a new mother, just happy and excited to be pregnant. I want the universe to hear the message that I want a girl loud and clear. But I don’t want the universe to get the message that I *don’t* want a boy.

It is an interesting journey thus far….

We have just returned from an absolutely amazing trip to Mexico! We had a fantastic time playing on the beach, swimming with the boys and photographing the wildlife and flora of Playa Del Carmen. The boys are excellent travelers and we had a great time everywhere we went with them.

I gotta toot my own horn, here. From the beach to the airplane, I used my Eclipse Sun Protection Cover practically nonstop! It was great for nursing discreetly on the plane and in restaurants, even if I was wearing spaghetti strap or sleeveless tops. I loved using it at the beach when Remy napped in the stroller. Even though our Maclaren Volo has a generous sunshade, Remy’s lower half were exposed to the sun. I just clipped the Eclipse on and parked him under a palm tree! It was a lifesaver.

Tags: Eclipse, Maclaren stroller, Mexico, Playa del Carmen, Secure2Me, sun protection, sun screen, vacation

I am a self-taught photographer with a pretty limited area of interest–my children. I fell in love with photography the day my first son was born and I have shot thousands of pictures in the 7 years since his arrival. I am passionate about capturing the events of my boys’ lives, the monumental and the insignificant. This is Truman on the backyard playset a few weeks ago.

I have been using a Nikon D80 for the last year and I absolutely love it but I am NOT taking it to Mexico. I have been thinking about buying a small, compact point and shoot camera to tuck in my bag for trips to the zoo, the park or the pool. I walked into Office Depot to pick up a massive amount of printing for Secure2Me and saw a great little Sony Cyber-shot DSC H7 on clearance. Its 8.1 megapixels, compact and lightweight so I thought I’d give it a try.

I shot a little with it today and like it. I guess. I am an extreme close-up freak and it certainly lacks the zoom of an SLR camera. Here is a close-up of Lucky, our no-eyed red slider.

Remind me to tell you about Lucky another time.

Here is Remy at the pool today….

And this shot is so Jackson…                     

I do love the images I capture with my big fancy camera and I will miss using it when the boys do something special on our trip. But its not the camera that makes the photos such treasures. The subjects I am shooting  make each image magical to me and this little camera will be perfect.

Tags: camera, digital camera, family, megapixel, Nikon, pet turtle, photography, Secure2Me, Sony

Are you the type that doesn’t want to buy anything new if it is not in your “goal size?” Me too. I confess I have been wearing my maternity swimsuit despite the fact that my youngest is 2. And I am not pregnant.

Our family will be taking a vacation to Playa Del Carmen in a few weeks, forcing me to shop for a new swimsuit. I have been working hard at getting in shape. Not just doing the low-carb thing to drop a quick ten pounds but really exercising with purpose and feeding my body mindfully. Alas, swimsuits are merciless judges and the mirror does not display an image of your efforts, only the results.

As I prepared to step into my first modest tankini, I could hear a couple of girls in the next dressing room chatting as they tried on swimsuits. I recalled our honeymoon in Cozumel, 13 years ago, when I felt comfortable in my own skin. Standing there alone in my own cubicle, I could not think of a soul on Earth I would permit to watch me try on swimsuits. I literally felt ashamed of the way I looked and had the urge to throw my clothes back on and flee the harsh reality of the dressing room mirror.

As I tried on suit after suit, I felt hopeless and disgusted. “Mexico is just weeks away and this is what you have to work with,” I thought to myself. Then, in between a polka-dotted one piece and a surprisingly sexy skirted number, I looked at myself in the mirror and said aloud, “What in the world do you have to be ashamed of?” Moments passed and tears filled my eyes as I heard my own answer.

“Nothing.”

I have no reason to feel ashamed of how I look. My body has served me faithfully for 36 years. I have been blessed to carry, birth and nourish three healthy, beautiful babies. I have been physically changed by motherhood but just as each pregnancy stretched my belly, I was changed in wonderful ways my body does not betray. My capacity for love, empathy, joy, and sacrifice cannot be measured by the size on a tag.

After my brief breakdown, I bought two swimsuits that make me feel strong and healthy and pretty. I am anxiously anticpating walking on the beach with my husband, watching Remy enjoy the surf for the first time, hunting for shells with Truman and snorkeling with Jackson. I think of what our lives were like the first time we visited Mexico and I can’t imagine ever going back. My body is certainly not the same as it was 13 years ago but neither is my heart.

Tags: beach, diet, exercise, maternity, Mexico, motherhood, Playa del Carmen, pregnancy, shopping, summer, swimsuit, vacation, weightloss

I suppose I should introduce myself. I am Amy Long, creator of the Secure2Me Blanket and president of Secure2Me, LLC. My story is like many other mom-inventors. I needed a product that did not currently exist in the marketplace, made a few for myself, some more for my friends and quickly realized I had a business idea on my hands. I did not set out to create a “real” product. I certainly did not intend to start and grow a company. Actually, I was perfectly content as a stay-at-home mommy to our three boys under 6.

This is the story of my detour from the primrose path of suburban mommyhood.

Then

Our tale begins shortly after the birth of our third baby boy in 2006. A little background: I carry my babies in a sling or mei tai for much of the day from birth until they begin to express a desire to get down. I love babywearing and it works well for our family. Indoors, the sling is perfect! Outdoors, it can be difficult to keep the baby cozy and comfortable.

I had been pinning blankets to my sling with giant safety pins–inelegant and worrisome, but effective for keeping a blanket in place. It occurred me that I could clip a blanket on to my sling to provide warmth, privacy and adjustable coverage. I set out to make what I needed and the rest, as they say, is history.

This photo is the very first Secure2Me Blanket ever made: A few words about this photo….I had no idea this was such a pivotal moment in my life. I would have put on a little make-up, dressed my toddler, worn an actual outfit and told the 6 year old holding the camera to take a few pictures in hopes of getting one in focus. And, no, we didn’t style the baby’s hair that way intentionally. His hair was a natural faux-hawk for months.

I used the blanket at camp that weekend and loved it! It was the perfect size and shape for covering baby’s legs, especially in my baby carriers. It was adjustable! I could clip it up around his shoulders or down around his waist if he was wearing a jacket. I clipped it onto my own clothes as a nursing cover-up! I was tickled with my discovery and went to the fabric store to choose a few more weights and styles. In a few weeks, I had crafted a mini-wardrobe of clip-on baby blankets.

Now

Our baby, Remy, just turned 2, Truman is 4 and Jackson is 7. We are hoping to complete our family with a new baby next year. And, oh yes, we want a girl! In order to get in the best possible shape before getting pregnant with Baby #4, I began running. I had not run in years. As a matter of fact, I thought I hated running. My standard answer to the question, “Do you run?” was “Only when chased.”

I can walk briskly for hours a day and not lose a pound or tone anything but my shins. Aerobics drives me nuts as I am averse to exercising in a group setting and I do not have the temperament for yoga. So I picked running. I never see a big girl running so I figured it must work.

I started running Mother’s Day morning as a gift to myself. I could not run for more than a minute at a time and I literally had to watch my feet to maintain good form. It has been six weeks since I began running and the changes are amazing! I can look straight ahead without tripping over my own feet and I no longer have to wear Spanx when running to keep my rear end from tapping me on the shoulder. Now that’s progress!

Tags: baby, baby gift, babywearing, entrepreneur, mei tai, mom inventor, mompreneur, postpartum exercise, SAHM, Secure2Me